Bariatric Girl

I saw this story about a woman who lost 300 pounds the “old fashioned way”.

No surgery….

No gimmicks….

While there are many applauding her success, there are just as many that need to understand how much more there is to this story.  First of all having weight loss surgery is not the easy way out or you wouldn’t have anyone regaining after surgery.    Every single person that has had the surgery would have the perfect outcome and it would be the magic pill.

What no one is saying are the statistics for someone who has lost this much weight on their own.  Less than 5% of all people that lose this much weight have regained it all plus more within five years.  When her body starts to rebel and she starts to have problems, I hope her support group will be there for her because long after the ABC cameras have left, this is when the reality of this process will set in.   I have seen it personally several times.  A few years ago I met a man that lost 200 pounds THREE TIMES!  For the life of me I cannot imagine the strength it required to accomplish that feat.  After meeting so many people through the weight loss surgery community, there are many of these stories.  I personally have gained and lost hundreds of pounds, hundreds of times.

She’ll get her fifteen minutes of fame and she’ll be feeling “all successful” and then the pounds start creeping back on because the weight loss was only a band-aid for the root problem and this poor woman will have to not only go back to a normal existence but an existence where she has a 95% chance of failing.  My heart breaks for her and I desperately hope she’s part of that 5% that makes it.

ABC does a major injustice to this lovely woman because they won’t care about her when she starts to struggle and of course they had to add “no surgery, no gimmicks”.  That would imply that my 130 pound weight loss was a gimmick, or fake weight loss, or I cheated somehow. It really shouldn’t matter how I went from 260 pounds to 130 pounds and kept it off for ten years as long as I am healthy.   I am healthier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.  There are hundreds of thousands of post-ops just like me and you rarely hear our stories being told on Good Morning America or People Magazine‘s feature about women that have lost half their weight.

That’s why we blog.  That’s why we tell out stories on websites, You Tube or wherever we can.  Some day the mainstream media will figure it out.  It’s good that I’m patient because I guess I don’t have a choice….

I was reading from “The Language of Letting Go” and this particular passage stood out.  As obese people we carry so much shame.  So much shame! Shame literally sucks the life out of us and there are days that it hangs over me like a dark cloud. I have lived in it for so long that it starts to feel normal and it never should.  Shame on me for feeling so much shame!  Here is what Melody Beattie says.

If we participate in shame-based behaviors such as over eating or chemical abuse, we will feel ashamed.  It’s inevitable.  We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because they will immerse us in shame.

Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed “original shame” upon us, may try to put shame on us.  This can happen when we’re all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life.  Don’t think….Don’t feel….Don’t grow or change…Don’t be alive…Don’t live life…Be ashamed!

Be done with shame.  Attack shame.  Go to war with it.  Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.

Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world.  If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, then be done with it as quickly as possible.  Help me know that it’s okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame.  If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.

Be mindful of your thoughts.  Are they loaded with shame???  Tell shame it has been living in your head long enough…serve the eviction notice and tell shame to hit the road Jack!

Are you part of the solution or part of the problem?

I wrote a blog post called “are you an anchor or a motor” last year and it bears repeating. I hope you’ll read it again or maybe even read it for the very first time.

You know those people that are so quick to jump on everything in an instant?? 0-60 in seconds?  They tell you “But you’re not doing it right!” Control with a capital “C”.

If you haven’t seen “Addicted to Food” on the OWN channel I would suggest you view it as soon as possible. Tennie McCarty is brilliant and I love how she talks about dealing with the BIG C. (control) We all need to learn to let go. Have we forgotten some of the simple things? Assume = makes an a$$ out of you and me. When you are pointing at someone = three fingers are pointing back at you. I love this next section by Jack Canfield.

*Are there people in your life who only have to walk into the room and totally drain you of energy? I refer to these people as psychic vampires. They literally suck the life energy right out of you. Stop spending time with them.

Are there people in your life who are always complaining and blaming others for their circumstances? Are these people always judging others, spreading negative gossip, and talking about how bad it is? Stop spending time with them as well.

Are there people in your life who, simply by calling you on the telephone can bring tension, stress, and disorder to your day? Are these dream stealers who tell you that your dreams are impossible and try to dissuade you from believing in and pursuing your goal? Do you have friends who constantly attempt to bring you back down to their level? If so, then it is time for some new friends.

You’re better spending time alone than spending time with people who hold you back with their victim mentality and their mediocre standards.

Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, nourishing, and uplifting people- people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams, and applaud your victories. Surround yourself with possibility thinkers, idealists, and visionaries.

I spent some time with some incredible people at an event in San Francisco and even though some agreed to disagree, we walked away as friends and a new found respect for each other. I had almost forgotten what it felt like. We were all there to be part of the solution and not one person became a part of the problem.

Next time you are about to contribute to the conversation, ask if you are being part of the solution.

The problem is already there…why don’t you do something to work on the solution?

*referenced in this post….special thanks to Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles”

The Bridge

This past weekend I spoke at the WLSFA.org Meet and Greet in Las Vegas and I will be sharing much more but for now it will just be a video.

At the end of my presentation I wrapped it up with “The Bridge”.  The words are from “The Language of Letting Go by Melanie Beattie.  All of the photographs are mine except two.  The song was something I wrote years ago and I finally decided to use it for one of my videos.  I played guitar and sang and narrated the video.  The words are so perfect for us in our community so I hope you’ll enjoy it.

I have tons of photographs and videos and experiences to share from the incredible event and it will take me a while to gather them and make sense of it all.  So for now…here’s The Bridge.