Bariatric Girl

After asking the members on my Bariatric Girl Facebook page for suggestions it is amazing how many patients have heard the same comments.  While I am sure there are many other common comments, I created this graphic from their suggestions.  While the majority are serious I had to laugh out loud at a couple of them.  Enjoy!

To: Bariatric Girl 2001

From: Bariatric Girl 2016 (exactly 15 years ago)

Dear Bariatric Girl 2001,

How I wish we could have had a letter like this when we began our journey because there was almost no one who knew anything in 2001.

Guess what??? WE MADE IT! We actually made it 15 years BUT don’t get overconfident because this could change at any moment.

This is what I know so far.

So many thought I’d fail….

So many more hoped I would.

And even sadder, some were disappointed I didn’t regain my weight and worse, I let them make me feel guilty for it.

These are the things I’d like to share with you.

1. Just because you lose the weight DOESN’T MEAN YOU’LL BE AUTOMATICALLY HAPPY!!! Life is life. Same problems…you just weigh less.

2. Some people will do their best to sabotage your journey. REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THOSE PEOPLE! PERIOD…. (I SAID PERIOD) Life is like an elevator. Sometimes on the way up you have to stop and let some people off.

3. Move towards the people who look to you for…. basically….anything.  A word of support or kindness for someone who comes to you for advice may mean mountains to them and they actually want you in their lives!  Instead we often find ourselves looking to people who don’t care about us or we spend wasteful time wanting what they have that we don’t. Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you have not… but remember that what you have now was once among the things that you had only hoped for!

4. Don’t eat crap food, get it ALL out of your house. If it isn’t in your house, don’t start bringing it in. You could never “eat just one”. Trust me, that hasn’t changed so don’t even test it out. Quit trying to force a square peg in a round hole.  You tried for 30 years to “eat just one” and it NEVER worked so consider not eating any. IT’S SO MUCH EASIER TO DO!

5. Get help for your addiction to food because everything else you do will just be putting a Band-Aid on the problem. If you don’t get help for the root problem, you won’t overcome it. Don’t get caught up on whether it’s called addiction, emotional eating… it’s whatever you want to call it. At least call it something, identify the problem, and move towards a solution because you can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. Um DUHHHHH.

6. Support. Get some. Give some. Refer back to #2. Do not stay in a support group where people become energy vampires that suck the blood from your body. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR BATTLE IF YOU CAUSE MORE STRESS AND CHAOS TO YOUR JOURNEY.

7. Here’s my post where an organization has gathered data from thousands of people who have lost and maintained their weight. Doesn’t it make sense to take the tips reported and try them? These simple tips worked for the majority of people. If what you are doing isn’t working, why not mimic what worked for thousands? What do you have to lose? And if you can’t or are unwilling to try those methods, you must make peace with what you are doing. Get on and live your life instead of beating your head up against a wall. You’ll look up one day and your life will be gone.

I’m pretty sure if you follow these suggestions and keep it simple that you can continue to do this thing. Perhaps most importantly don’t let the phrase “one day at a time” become cliché. It is one of your simplest rules to apply…..to stay in the now. Worrying is praying for what you don’t want. SO STOP IT!

Lastly….always remember to pick your hard.

Love you,

Bariatric Girl 2016

On March 30, 2001 I could not get inside that operating room fast enough.  As a friend of mine said when he went to his doctor for a consultation “Doc if you want to find a butter knife and start carving on me now, let’s do it!”.  In December of 2000 I heard Carnie Wilson’s story and I called a bariatric surgeon within fifteen minutes.  Yep I did a whole fifteen minutes of research.  When they started to mention mortality rates I told them not to bother.  I literally said “Put me on that table,  fix me, or let me go.” I could not live in my morbidly obese body one more day.  After trying everything known to man for 30 years, this was my last option.

The video below summarizes my journey of the last fourteen years.  I am truly grateful for a second chance at life and for all the lovely people I’ve met through our shared path.

Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberries & Cream

I’ve been meaning to post about products I like and today is that day!  Recently the good people at Premier Protein sent me samples so I’m excited!  There are TEN kinds of protein bars! WOW OH WOW are they good.  

They offer three kinds of liquid protein …. Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberries & Cream.   One of the very first reasons I was drawn to this product years ago was convenience.  As a weight loss surgery post-op there are times when you are caught away from home without good choices and Premier Protein takes care of that.  You can keep the liquid protein in your car or at work and simply pour it over ice or drink it at room temperature.  It’s always difficult when you travel and you’d know this if you’ve ever tried taking white powdered protein through TSA!  Not fun at all!

And protein bar choices?  Peanut Butter Caramel, Honey Caramel, Cookies ‘n Cream, Dark Chocolate Mint, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Chocolate Caramel, White Fudge Raspberry, Peanut Butter Crunch, Double Chocolate Crunch, and Chocolate Mint.  Right now the Chocolate Caramel is my absolute fave.

I cannot imagine you not finding something you like among all this deliciousness.  Dig in and enjoy!

No matter how hard I work on processing pain, I have a difficult time with this part of learning to heal.  I forced myself to look for pictures that represent something painful to me…. pictures that I pass over quickly every time I come across them. I found two that certainly qualify.

When we avoid pain we are absolutely handing over the keys to the trigger monster who will take us on a new adventure seeking food…. or whatever our coping mechanism is.  This kind of pain never goes away on its own and WILL ALWAYS show up somewhere else because it does not magically float away.

My heart tells me if I feel this I will die! My head tells me this is not true…that I won’t die…. but I still don’t want to feel it so why can’t I think about something else?  In the past I ate.  As soon as the “food high” wore off I ate again.  The problem is that pain doesn’t go away until you deal with it and worse….it can manifest in other ways like physical pain.

Skinny Minnie died several months ago and I lost Boo Radley in November. This post isn’t about my wanting sympathy since I tend to be extremely private about this kind of thing.  It’s embarrassing because some people don’t understand my animals are my children.  I haven’t really dealt with the pain properly so I’m forcing myself to face it and feel these feelings.

This quote by Gary Zukav perfectly illustrates my point.

“The compulsive activities in your life are those activities that are your way of avoiding the experience of painful emotions. That is why you must experience the painful emotions because if you don’t experience your pain you remain locked in your compulsive behaviors which are creating difficult and painful consequences in your life.  Otherwise you won’t fulfill your greatest potential and that’s important because that’s where your deep meaning and sense of purpose resides.”

Sooooo….that means that if we don’t process our emotional pain we are doomed to continue our compulsive behaviors (like reaching for food).  Is it easier to eat and avoid the pain?  You bet it is!  That’s why we do it.

I would like to invite you to try something different next time you want to eat away the pain.  Sit in it….cry and scream if you have to.  Stare at a photograph every day until the pain starts to subside.  Talk about your pain to someone who cares.  It won’t happen overnight but know you are moving closer to healing by facing your pain and working through it.

And better yet?  Try to live your life in such a way that you avoid unnecessary pain….you know the kind….the kind where you get twisted off over something that’s said online or by a co-worker.  Deep down you know it’s NOT about you and all about them.  There is a reason for the saying “misery loves company”.  If you expose yourself to drama or try to control situations you cannot change, you are handing a formal invitation to Mr. Trigger.

In the meantime I’ve got some pain I need to sit in.  Boo Radley and Skinnie Minnie will be forever missed and eventually I will  be able to look at their pictures without experiencing as much grief.  Instead I will do my best to remember all the joy and love they gave me.  I should mostly remember how they were rescued and given a life free of hunger, pain, never being too hot or too cold, and Boo never even knew one day of being afraid.

Kalli Cat and new born Boo Radley