Bariatric Girl

To: Bariatric Girl 2001

From: Bariatric Girl 2016 (exactly 15 years ago)

Dear Bariatric Girl 2001,

How I wish we could have had a letter like this when we began our journey because there was almost no one who knew anything in 2001.

Guess what??? WE MADE IT! We actually made it 15 years BUT don’t get overconfident because this could change at any moment.

This is what I know so far.

So many thought I’d fail….

So many more hoped I would.

And even sadder, some were disappointed I didn’t regain my weight and worse, I let them make me feel guilty for it.

These are the things I’d like to share with you.

1. Just because you lose the weight DOESN’T MEAN YOU’LL BE AUTOMATICALLY HAPPY!!! Life is life. Same problems…you just weigh less.

2. Some people will do their best to sabotage your journey. REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THOSE PEOPLE! PERIOD…. (I SAID PERIOD) Life is like an elevator. Sometimes on the way up you have to stop and let some people off.

3. Move towards the people who look to you for…. basically….anything.  A word of support or kindness for someone who comes to you for advice may mean mountains to them and they actually want you in their lives!  Instead we often find ourselves looking to people who don’t care about us or we spend wasteful time wanting what they have that we don’t. Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you have not… but remember that what you have now was once among the things that you had only hoped for!

4. Don’t eat crap food, get it ALL out of your house. If it isn’t in your house, don’t start bringing it in. You could never “eat just one”. Trust me, that hasn’t changed so don’t even test it out. Quit trying to force a square peg in a round hole.  You tried for 30 years to “eat just one” and it NEVER worked so consider not eating any. IT’S SO MUCH EASIER TO DO!

5. Get help for your addiction to food because everything else you do will just be putting a Band-Aid on the problem. If you don’t get help for the root problem, you won’t overcome it. Don’t get caught up on whether it’s called addiction, emotional eating… it’s whatever you want to call it. At least call it something, identify the problem, and move towards a solution because you can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. Um DUHHHHH.

6. Support. Get some. Give some. Refer back to #2. Do not stay in a support group where people become energy vampires that suck the blood from your body. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR BATTLE IF YOU CAUSE MORE STRESS AND CHAOS TO YOUR JOURNEY.

7. Here’s my post where an organization has gathered data from thousands of people who have lost and maintained their weight. Doesn’t it make sense to take the tips reported and try them? These simple tips worked for the majority of people. If what you are doing isn’t working, why not mimic what worked for thousands? What do you have to lose? And if you can’t or are unwilling to try those methods, you must make peace with what you are doing. Get on and live your life instead of beating your head up against a wall. You’ll look up one day and your life will be gone.

I’m pretty sure if you follow these suggestions and keep it simple that you can continue to do this thing. Perhaps most importantly don’t let the phrase “one day at a time” become cliché. It is one of your simplest rules to apply…..to stay in the now. Worrying is praying for what you don’t want. SO STOP IT!

Lastly….always remember to pick your hard.

Love you,

Bariatric Girl 2016

Link to story

This morning a story was featured on Good Morning America.  Chris Powell is a beautiful soul and I can’t be grateful enough that he said he wasn’t for or against weight loss surgery but he mentioned he has seen many after surgery for help with weight loss.  This is a misleading statement because his clients wouldn’t be  WLS post-ops who kept the weight off.  The words that sent an arrow through my heart…”Brian was so busy focusing on altering his body that he didn’t change his mind and that’s where the transformation happens.  Then he got it. He learned from his mistake.  And then he said I’m going to do this the right way. I’m going to walk my dog. I’m going to start one step at a time.”  I know Chris meant the right way was by making the transformation in his head but it sounds like weight loss surgery was the wrong way.

Chris made some excellent points that I’ve been talking about for years.

With every transformation we need to surround ourselves with people who love us unconditionally.

Find another purpose that feels much better than food ever did.  Always have something to look forward to more than food.

Most importantly he mentioned that after you quit getting the thrill of seeing the scale move and getting all those compliments, you have to find more happiness in service to others.

Where are the stories about those who figured it out the first time around after surgery?  We have to work just as hard every day to maintain our weight loss.  This isn’t about me….it’s about all of us who have gotten our lives back.  While some haven’t kept it all off they are still 100 pounds plus ahead of the game.  Watching someone freed from their bed, wheelchair or walker is a miracle to me.  Seeing someone resolve their diabetes is a miracle.  Some of us have damaged our bodies so intense exercise isn’t an option but there are still ways to move our bodies.

For years I’ve been writing People Magazine when they publish the issue about people losing half their weight.  They don’t want my story because I had surgery and they really don’t understand how many times we’ve lost half our weight only to gain it back.  Why can’t they celebrate those who have kept it off period?  It is always funny when I hear how weight loss surgery doesn’t work but the moment someone loses a great deal of weight quickly they are immediately accused of having surgery.

I want this post to be understood.  Brian is to be congratulated for figuring it out no matter when it was.  Chris knows how to teach people how to keep the weight off but I hope some day he’ll learn more about our community. Please don’t leave negative comments about either of them.

The cynic in me says no one wants to do positive stories on WLS because it just isn’t good television.

Maybe some day….in my lifetime…the stigma will go away forever.