Bariatric Girl

I am six years post op and I have regained about 40 lbs. I am feeling very much the same way I am ashamed that I have gained this weight back. I stay depressed a lot my husband has been out of work now for almost a year and I can’t afford to buy the protein drinks to try to get back on my diet. So with the depression of course I have gone back to a lot of my old ways grazing and hiding snack or junk food so no one else can see me. I want to turn this all around but it is so hard right now. 

OK gumby let’s start all over. I’ll bet that you’ve lost over 100 pounds or more. I know it seems like this 40 pounds is a HUGE MONSTER but when you compare it to what you’ve lost you can put it in better perspective. You do not have to have the protein drinks to do this. We get in this depressive state and can’t see our way out. I will be interviewing Gina very soon and she has gotten a 70 pound regain off. You can do it! I’ll do anything I can to support you and you can start this right now by just starting….reaching out for support. We so often eat because we are trying to numb ourselves from pain. I’m sure with the job situation makes your depression worse. It is also harder to do without support and I’m sure your husband feels really deflated too so he’s probably not up for offering a lot of support right now. What can we do to help? I mean we because I’ve got friends that can help too. I hope you will consider reaching out to me. Are you involved in any support anywhere? Tell me more about yourself if you don’t mind.
Hugs, Y

So what is the first step to take (besides realizing and accepting it’s time to take back control) towards getting back on track? Is there a “step by step”? I’ve got 25 lbs out of 95 to “re-lose”.
Thank you …

Marie

Marie I believe the first thing is to put it in perspective like I said before. In your case you’ve lost 70 pounds right? Put that number next to 25. See and believe in the difference and don’t give that 25 power. Look at it as the small number it is and know that stressing about “impossible outcome” will only draw you closer to an impossible outcome. Everyone is a bit different but these are general. Find some support. If you have benefits see if you can see a professional that can get you to work through some “family of origin” issues too. Remove the food from your house that offends. Even I have a difficult time dealing with tempting food in the house at night. Use your support. When you are beginning to eat things that you shouldn’t, help someone else. Call friends for support. Find things to do with your time. Go back to basics like not drinking with your meals and journal your food. Find a way to get some movement in your life. Exercise is sort of a dirty word and almost anyone can at least walk. Be aware of stinkin’ thinkin’ and know the toll it takes on your body. Realize that we use food to self medicate pain away or change the way we feel. Start “turn around” thinking by turning around negative thoughts into positive ones. Make a grateful list and say it every morning and evening. Do something to fill up your self esteem pocket. Volunteer or do something that makes you feel good about yourself because none of us have to look too far to find someone WAY less fortunate than ourselves. Every time you eat when you aren’t hungry….break the cycle by getting tough with yourself. There are so many ways but most of all you have to believe that you can do it. We start to slack and go back to old things because they are what we did for so long and it is the path of least resistance. I know that when my head is in a better place by doing some of the positive things I am more capapble of sticking to the drill. Also when you find some type of exercise find one that you can tolerate….preferably like or love. Take a dance class, do yoga…find something to make you feel good about moving your body. Get shaker weights and use them while you watch TV. Seek out the things that are bugging you that you can change and work on that. Stress kills and it also puts our body into starvation mode. MAKE SURE AND EAT BREAKFAST!! That one is very important because we can easily throw ourselves into starvation mode if you don’t. I have a saying about “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a student with a maxed out charge card.” I’m typing these things as they pour out of my brain. Some can be done by all and some cannot due to financial issues (like the therapy). It’s also important to try to take your vitamins and if the bariatric vitamins are too expensive for some you can buy less expensive chewables at a store.
That’s a start. It’s so important to have someone to talk to, someone to have your back and tell you what you need to hear. Sometimes we just need to be appreciated and useful. I hope that’s a good start.
hugs, Y

Thank you Doc for posting this link…..I need to be here and love what you have to say B Girl. Gosh I need help. I am almost 3 years post op. Lost 177 and gained back very quickly 70. I am now over 200 lbs and feel like crap. I need to get my yearly labwork and bone density test but do NOT want to call my surgeon for the orders. I felt so good thin why did I and my brain let me do it again? I do not talk on my support forum anymore, I read, but that is all. I miss meals, eat junk all day. I want to stop. Please HELP.

Hi Kim, I would love to know where you saw the link posted. Would you mind sharing it with me? I am going to post another interview with a friend of mine that lost exactly 70 pounds she regained. She will be celebrating 9 years in a few months. It is never too late. You’ve kept 100 pounds off! I don’t know if you got a chance to read the long answer I typed out to Marie but maybe you could get back on track and get back in control like Carly and my friend Gina who I’ll be posting about soon. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you. Hugs, Y

Thank you so much for posting this interview. This is my second surgery in 12 years and one would think that I’d be super motivated to keep going, but the opposite happened to me. My sister started to lose weight by dieting and exercising and calling me every week to tell me about her success. Before I knew it, I was up 20 pounds. TWENTY POUNDS, are you KIDDING ME? I am so proud of her but in some way I felt/feel like my efforts weren’t as honest as hers. Reading this story reminded me that the tools are there, the support is here and gosh, I didn’t go through all of this effort to surrender it to a cookie.

I love this quote from Carly “I tested the waters and I nearly drowned. I deprived myself from my weight loss, not that stupid food I didn’t need.”

I have not attempted to cut sugar grams, but I will make that a priority. Thanks again for a timely and supportive piece!!

You are so welcome Connie. I drank Coke like it was water before surgery and most of my friends were more shocked that I would quit drinking Coke than have major surgery. It boggles my mind that I have not had a Coke in nearly ten years and today I don’t even remember what it tasted like! I don’t miss what I can’t remember. I learned a very important lesson. For me it keeps the craving alive by eating the very food I want to avoid. The craving goes away when I quit eating things I shouldn’t. About 4 or 5 years ago I would eat a Quarter Pounder with Cheese “IF” I got below goal. I had control over eating it only when I was under goal however I still wanted one. For several months I didn’t get below goal and I realized that the longer it lasted, the more I forgot what it tasted like. I know now that the best way to stop the craving is to not do it eat the junk because it keeps the craving alive. Again I have forgotten what they taste like and I’m so glad!! I don’t need those nasty cheeseburgers because they deprive me from the weight that I so desperately wanted to be. The pleasure from food only lasts a few minutes….the displeasure from gaining weight back lasts until I get it off again. It’s an easy choice for me now when I put it in those terms. Know that your efforts are just as honest and don’t let that thinking sabotage your journey OK? We will find a way to feel guilty without a good reason so do some “turn around” statements and tell yourself something good about yourself OK? Thanks for you input…you inspired me to come up with the pleasure/displeasure phrase! Please let me know if I can help you in any way…support, whatever. Hugs, Y

Thanks, Yvonne! Your response has me tearing up… I am 5 pounds down already and feel like I am back on track. You are SO right about the pleasure/displeasure. As I sit here, I realize that other people have a much easier time coming up with turn around statements than I do. Perhaps that is the most telling thing of all. Today I will make a list of turn around statements and post them on my pantry door. Also, I had zucchini last night and I’d forgotten how good it is. You have given me a whole new way to look at this battlefield. I can’t thank you enough!

I can relate to Carly’s story in so many ways, this sounds so much like my situation. I need to get back on track, I’ve regained 45 lbs of the 116 I lost. I was 13 lbs from goal. I feel so ashamed and guilty that I have gained the weight back. Any advice you could share on getting back on track would be greatly appreciated. I don’t even want to go back to see my surgeon to have my annual labs done in May because I’m to ashamed that I’ve gained the weight back. I don’t go to the support group meetings because I don’t get anything out of them, the main thing they discuss at this support group is answer questions of the new people or the people contemplating having the surgery. My biggest problem is sweets and grazing, seems like that all I do anymore- lots of emotional eating going on – the stinking thinking takes over .

Yvonne, I sat in your session at the Cincinnati Obesity Help event and you were very inspiring. I started gaining weight around sept and haven’t lost anything since then. I’m hoping withh your inspiration and motivation support I can get back on track and stay on track. Heck I didn’t eat sweets or junk food for 2 years and wish I would have never started again.

Michelle my heart goes out to you. I know you don’t feel like going back to your surgeon but it’s really important because you need to make sure your labs are OK. Did you know that being low in Vitamin D can actually make you retain weight? Do you remember what I said about how to approach your regain? Don’t let it be a huge monster. Also the shame you feel is so toxic that it can make you feel completely debilitated. Instead of concentrating on what you’ve regained you need to focus on what you’ve lost. Do you remember when you first reached the weight you are now how happy your were? Please work on the shame thing. It sucks the life out of us. Know that when you eat the sweets and the junk food that you turn on the cravings. They manufacture that food so that once we eat it, we want more and more.

I won’t lie…this will take some work but anything worth having is worth working for. Are you eating breakfast (a healthy one) so that you don’t throw your body into starvation mode? Are you moving? Are you eating late at night? Remove the junk food out of your house. Make up your mind that you can stop that the sweets and junk and you’ll be surprized how much difference it makes. Make a promise to yourself that you will go 21 days without junk and sugar and you’ll be amazed how you will forget the craving for that stuff. It is CRACK! There’s a saying that 100% is easy and 99% is a bitch. When you decide to quit the junk and sugar it is easier to do it at 100% because that 1% can get you in trouble.

Do you have access to therapy? We so often have so much work to do with our family of origin issues. Why are we using food to self medicate our feelings away? When you get those feelings of being irritable, restless and discontent you can reach out to others so you can get out of your head. I can’t tell you how many people have said those exact words about wishing they never started eating the junk. You stopped it once and you can stop it again. Please don’t feel ashamed. You are worthy! You ARE a good person that got off track OK? Do you have any hobbies? Can you take a class for dancing or yoga or Zumba or something? You are eating to fill that hole in your heart. You are eating to sabatoge your success. When we regain we often are looking at everything with those regain glasses and that makes it more difficult. Please keep in touch. You can do it OK? And when you need to talk about how you are feeling, come here and let it out.
Big hugs, Y

Make sure and read the post about Gina too. She got it off and she is now at goal after nearly 9 years. Start seeing things with your glass half full instead of half empty. Do positive affirmations if you have to. Don’t let that nasty regain monster win. When you are feeling stressed and want to eat, reach out to help someone else or post on the facebook page about how your feeling.

Als ik moet nadenken over deze dingen zal ik zeker hier terug te komen